Choices

All tied up.

My thoughts keep me trapped within my mind.

A cornucopia of pain and anguish.

There are doors.

Options.

No clear black or white choice.

Only shades of gray.

Which is the lesser of two evils?

Screams behind one door.

Silence behind the other.

Which would you prefer?

An eternity of noise, screaming, like white hot lightening pain behind your eyes.

A small voice in the back of your mind, urging you to delve your fingers deep into the core of the noise.

Rip it out.

Slowly getting louder.

Becoming more insistent.

More demanding.

Tearing away all structures to get to the source of the voices.

Blinding yourself to the world.

Or.

Complete silence.

Nothing but utter silence that drives you insane.

No thoughts.

No voices.

You’re completely alone with not even your conscience keeping you sane.

A new insanity.

Begging.

Pleading to hear anything.

Anyone.

Crying out with no sound.

The silence chokes out your own voice as well.

As if your vocal cords have been severed.

Maybe there are more doors.

Better options.

This is your eternity after all.

More doors.

More options.

Stuck in a never-ending loop of decisions.

Each having an impact.

Contributing to your demise.

Think carefully.

Choose wisely.

It may be the last decision you make.

-Tanya Petkau